Day 19: Insecurities

Being a teenager is probably the most insecure time of your life. You’re too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too muscular, too weak, too smart, too dumb, the list goes on. On top of all that, you’re convinced that everyone is looking at you, even as you quietly walk to class. You become hyperaware of things that as a child, you never considered. The best part is, everyone else is also just as insecure (maybe more or less, but probably about the same) as you, so no one is actually looking at you or caring about what you look like.

All of these “too” aspects of our perceptions of ourselves are never written anywhere in the Bible. God didn’t make me in comparison to how He made my brother or my cousins or anyone other girls that were born at the same time as me. He made me individually and uniquely. He made me in His image, and His image is certainly not “too” much or little of anything. He made me in a way that is so good that all I need to do is maintain the physical, mental, and emotional parts of myself in a way that will allow me to be prepared to serve God in the best ways I can. Spiritually, I need to always be working towards my relationship with God.

In middle school, I was insecure about my body and about my personality. I used to think that I was too innocent, too excited for things that no one else got excited about, and at one point, I thought my personality was too dull for people to want to be my friend. I think the root of most insecurities is that we are scared that because of who we are, the natural parts of ourselves that we cannot change, we will push away anyone who would want to support us or spend time with us, and that we will end up alone. However, when we walk with Christ, we are never alone. Focusing on insecurities made me selfish because I was always thinking about how people perceived me and how that was going to affect my life. What I should’ve been focused on, and should continue to be focused on, is how others feel God’s love through me and how that will affect others.

Insecurities have pushed me further from God’s presence because they cause me to put myself at the focus of all my problems, when in reality, God should be at the focus of all my problems. Not that I should be blaming God for everything that goes wrong, but when I have problems, He should be the first person I go to, the first thought that comes to mind in the midst of being upset, especially if I have an issue with the way He made me.

I think our insecurities probably sadden our Creator because we are telling Him that He made us wrong, meanwhile He’s looking at how the way He made us specifically is going to move mountains and carry out His will and do magnificent things for the Kingdom of God, and how others will be able to feel His love through us. If only we could see ourselves through His eyes.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:13-16; NIV

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